10:10:01 p.m.: Elaine is eating dinner. Something about baked macaroni and cheese, if I remember from today's cabinet-snooping.


Elaine had a very lazy day today. She sat around in her bed, watched documentaries on falling arboreal plants, and then played god with her globe. She shook said globe and caused six earthquakes in various small Southeast Asian island nations. In lieu of being angry, they thank her for her blessing of being "shook all night long". This is because they idolized two people: Elaine and Bon Scott of AC/DC.

Her pet boa constrictor, Benedict A., has informed me that her dinner is delicious but she wishes that it had been made with penne or bowtie pasta in lieu of elbow macaroni. She is not a cannibal and thus does not like to eat food named after body parts that she is in current possession of. I think that, after she loses her elbows, she'll be okay with the macaroni.

Besides, bowtie ("Farfalle", if you're special) pasta is the best, hands (and elbows) down. You may not be able to use them as Projectile Marinara Launchers as you can ziti or penne, but you can't knock that shape. Making your food double as a fashion accessory is key in a dinner-time dressing crisis.


10:43:34 Elaine ignores numerous requests for status updates. It must be the macaroni.


Over and Out.
*static*